What's that you say?

"There is a reason God gave Alexi to you......5 months in and you guys are already showing why!" - Cassandra Williams

Cassandra probably didn't think twice about how to word this, but it came out in a way that shows 2 key things. Alexi is a person, an individual, not lumped together with anyone else. This is important to us, that people see our child, and all children, as individuals. Not just lumping kids together by race, religion, or disability.

The second part of this statement says that Kerith (my wife) and I are doing a good job ourselves(from what Cassandra can see.) It is so very often that we hear this statement made slightly different, but with whole different meaning. "God gives these special children to special people."

We disagree. We genuinely appreciate the compliment, and rarely correct anyone who says it to us, as it's "no big deal." But there are parents out there that don't take advantage of all the wonderful help that is available to us, as parents of children with disabilities. This help can make a world of difference in a child's life and the adult life that follows.

Another very common response to finding out Alexi has DS is, "Oh that's ok, they are always so happy." This one couldn't be more wrong, and I knew that long before Alexi. We know it's ok, but kids with DS can have these moods: happy, excited, pleased, stubborn, angry, frustrated, sad, lonely, embarrassed, and many many others. Sound familiar? Kids with DS have all of the typical emotions that children have.

Another misconception is that "They don't even know they're different." This can be true for many kids that are intellectually disabled, but not true for kids with DS. These kids know it, and at times, it bothers them. It effects each child differently (go figure) but every person with DS I have come across knows they are different, and most work very hard to try and overcome that.

We really are put in an awkward situation. "Do we correct them so they can see things in a different light?" Or "Do we let it go so as to not offend them, or make them think we don't appreciate the compliment?" I assure you, we appreciate that people's hearts are in the right place. Like I said, we generally 'let it go.' Maybe we shouldn't, who knows?

So thanks Casandra for saying the 'right' thing, we're giving it our best and appreciate the support!

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